Let's Shave Our Bush

i don't like to forward mass emails (ironic, since i work in email marketing, i know), but my mom passed one to me this morning that i thought was good. it was an essay on G-Dub written by Edgar Lawrence Doctorow. here are some excerpts ...

I fault this president (George W. Bush) for not knowing what death is. He does not suffer the death of our twenty-one year olds who wanted to be what they could be. On the eve of D-day in 1944 General Eisenhower prayed to God for the lives of the young soldiers he knew were going to die. He knew what death was. Even in a justifiable war, a war not of choice but of necessity, a war of survival, the cost was almost more than Eisenhower could bear.

But this president does not know what death is. He hasn't the mind for it. You see him joking with the press, peering under the table for the WMDs he can't seem to find, you see him at rallies strutting up to the stage in shirt sleeves to the roar of the carefully screened crowd, smiling and waving, triumphal, a he-man. He does not mourn. He doesn't understand why he should mourn. He is satisfied during the course of a speech written for him to look solemn for a moment and speak of the brave young Americans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country.

But you study him, you look into his eyes and know he dissembles an emotion which he does not feel in the depths of his being because he has no capacity for it. He does not feel a personal responsibility for the thousand dead young men and women who wanted to be what they could be. They come to his desk not as youngsters with mothers and fathers or wives and children who will suffer to the end of their days a terribly torn fabric of familial relationships and the inconsolable remembrance of aborted life ... They come to his desk as a political liability, which is why the press is not permitted to photograph the arrival of their coffins from Iraq.

... the media amplify his character into our moral weather report. He becomes the face of our sky, the conditions that prevail: How can we sustain ourselves as the United States of America given the stupid and ineffective war-making, the constitutionally insensitive lawgiving, and the monarchical economics of this president? He cannot mourn but is a figure of such moral vacancy as to make us mourn for ourselves.

boo-ya.

Look At My Ass

it makes me feel old when i look at kid's and adolescent fashion these days. i mean, all the skinny little white boys trying to look like 50 cent ... the girls with spare tires and happy trails who still insist on lowrider jeans with wide belts and short shirts ...

worst of all, though, is something that i once liked ... before i started thinking of myself as the father of a little girl. you know what i'm talking about: those cute little cotton shorts that have a message written across the butt. things like "ANGEL," "SEXY," "TOO HOT FOR YOU" and stuff like that. the idea is brilliant. you can't NOT look at something like that. you want to know what it says, but then you can't take your eyes off (if the can is nice, that is).

problem is, of course, that these things are now being worn by 7, 8, 9 year old girls. god damn. they ruined it. and look, i'm going to go out on a limb here: i've even caught myself staring at some cute little butts, only to realize that it's JUST A KID! god DAMN! that's sick! am i sick?? that's for another conversation. i only know two things:

1) a woman's butt in nice-fitting shorts is a beautiful thing.
2) hannah will own a pair of these shorts over my dead body.

maybe if one day she begs and begs me for a pair, i'll give in. with one catch. i'm making them myself, and they're going to say "Enjoy the last thing you'll ever see on earth, you sick fuck. quick, look behind you!"

Yee Haw

today was nice. slepp in a bit … Mike came up fo' a viset … went an' flew th' plane fo' an hour o' so. he an' ah went out t'th' noo Papapietro-Perry tastin' room an' sampled some likker. they’re th' ones whose likker it was thet acshully turned me on t'wine in th' fust place, an' ah reckon they make some of th' bess Pinot aroun'.

and the giants won, which is a rare treat.

t'morry i’d like t'try an' does some wawk. have had a mino' crisis of focus on over th' last few days … but I’m gittin' antsy an' ready t'be produckive. ah had a weird dream last night whar ah was visitin' mah college, an' he'pin' some guy give birth. whut in tarnation?

this evening i went down to Big John's and got some pasta and alfredo sauce, along with some white bread so kimmy could have PB&J. in case you wanted to know that.

Ruh Roh Raggy

earlier this week at kimmy's regular OB visit, the doctor did his measurements (of the tummy) and said he was a little concerned because she wasn't quite as big as she ought to be at this point in the pregnancy. he scheduled a sonogram for thursday, to get some precise measurements of Hannah's size. he said not to worry, that he just wanted to be cautious, so of course we worried.

we didn't tell anyone ... mostly not to worry our parents unnecessarily, but also because if anyone else was stressed out about it, kimmy would have felt more anxiety.

anyway, long story short, the reason kimmy's tummy measurement was a little off is because Hannah's all scrunched up on the left side of the uterus. she's very comfortable, and she's not in any kind of position that should cause concern, but it did throw off the external measurement. in any case, with the measurements from the sonogram, the doctor estimates that she's somewhere between 6 and 6 1/2 pounds at this point, which is right on target.

that's my big girl.

Ponch is Lookin' Goooood ......

we got up at 5 this morning to take joanne to the oakland airport. by the time we were on our way back, passing through marin, i was tired and desperately in need of coffee. plus, these jackasses in the fast lane were going at the speed limit with nobody in front of them. of course, i swing over to the middle lane and pass their slow asses on the right.

just didn't see the CHP car.

so i pull over to the shoulder, and up walks a cute female officer. i could tell she was in to me ... just the way her eyes got all needy as she looked across kimmy's pregnant belly at the hunk of manly goodness in the driver's seat, as her eyes settled on the suave sweatpants and slippers, and finally came to rest on my chisled visage. she was obviously having trouble breathing -- as the pheramones and adrenaline buzzed around in her head. i helped her out by offering a warm smile and my driver's license. "oh yeah," she seemed to say, "i have a job to do."

oops. sorry ... that's what you get when you're writing a letter to penthouse forum in another window while trying to type a blog entry.

anyway, in reality, she was very nice -- asked if there was an emergency (she obviously noticed kimmy's belly) -- i said no ... honesty being the best policy with people who are used to getting bullshitted. she ended up letting me go, but wrote a fix-it ticket requiring me to finally get off my ass and get my CA driver's license. i've been using the florida one, avoiding a trip to hell ... i mean, the DMV.

What a Great Weekend

where to start?

dylan, chris, and katie arrived on thursday night from sunny south beach, totally unprepared for the cool summer nights in wine country. after hooking them up with sweatshirts and fleeces we had a fantastic time. we stayed up late sitting around the table on the back deck, drinking wine and munching on cheese and bread by candle light. they're incredible people, great company, and turning into real friends. we drank a little too much wine (kimmy drank too much Fresca), but what can you do?

friday we got a late start, but ended up going to ferrari-carrano, lake sonoma, and the new papapietro perry tasting room. we bought a bunch of wine ... and pretty much drank it all that night, again by candlelight on the deck. kimmy and katie made an awesome spread of fish, giant shrimp, baked potatoes, and corn, and we stayed up late again just enjoying great company, great food, and great wine.

saturday was the baby shower. after saying goodbye to our guests -- who were spending their last day in the city -- we headed down to mom's house. when we got there, robert was obviously playing lookout at the front door, so we knew something was up. we didn't know what, though, until joanne walked out and surprised us. kimmy cried -- i must have looked confused. evidently she'd been partying it up with my mom, annette, ginny, melia, ann, and rita for a couple days ... and we didn't have a clue. it's an awesome surprise. i think we're all going to go together to our childbirth class tonight, which should be fun.

the shower was great. i hate sitting in front of a bunch of people opening gifts, but aside from that it was a nice time. got to see some people we don't see too often, like melissa (and her mom), alexis, cousin emily, judi allewelt, pat bradley, and the usual close family and friends. hannah cleaned up. our favorite was the baby carrier. you can see a picture below of me trying it out with Cali. we ordered another one last night so they can both have their own. can you picture us walking around with cali and hannah in those things? damn, we might be dorks, but that'll be cute as hell.

yesterday (sunday), tom and vanessa came and picked me up, and we headed down to the "wings over wine country" air show. i'd never been to one before, and it was really cool. would have been cooler if there were some crashes, but what can you do. i got to sit in the cockpit of a vietnam-era fighter jet! at any rate, long story short, between being out there and then taking the two of them up to the model air field for some flying, i got sunburned to hell, and all my energy was sapped out of me. i even took a nap in the evening ... and if you know my sleeping habits at all, that's pretty rare.

anyway, here are some pictures:

Walken Update

i guess it'll be cheney/frist/The Terminator vs. hillary in 2008. much to my dismay, the christopher walken candidacy was a hoax.

i really hope hillary doesn't run, to tell you the truth. not because i don't think she'd be a good president, but because the republicans would beat her down, throw her in a dumpster, and piss on her with their well oiled smear machine. it would easily be the ugliest campaign in the history of elections. and there's no way in hell she'd win. sorry. sad but true.

in lighter news ...

• i installed the "winnie the pooh" head support module in Hannah's car seat today. it only took me a half hour to comlete the 5-minute job.
• dylan, chris, and katie will be here thursday night from florida for a wine country weekend. it will be great to hang out with them and get them drunk in a very sophisticated manner.
• the baby shower is on saturday. we're really looking forward to seeing everyone ... including a few who we haven't seen for some time, my third grade teacher included. also looking forward to seeing ian and lindsay, who will be taking a hammer to the old piggy bank to pay for the gas from L.A..
• the giants are looking good lately (not saying much, in the context of this miserable season, but it's something). randy winn hit for the cycle last night, and is doing great again this evening.
• we had our weekly childbirth class last night. nobody passed out, and no paramedics were necessary. in a couple weeks they'll be having the breastfeeding session. supposedly no guys are allowed, since a lactation consultant will be there instructing the mommies on proper technique. i might show up anyway and hang around outside the window with the video camera ... it's not often you get the chance to see 20+ naked boobies in the same room (unless you're Ian).

At Last ... Progress

it's been a few months since we've "finished" the deck out back. since then, i've been doing some serious procrastinating on the finishing touches. namely, the stairs down to the rest of the yard, the step between the two levels, and staining.

this weekend i built the step between the levels, and stained the lower level ... as you can see above.

i plan to finish staining this week, in time for some company we'll have starting thursday. as for the stairs ... maybe i can stall until rich comes out again ;-)

The National Anthem: It Needs More Cowbells

when i first saw this, i thought it was a joke. christopher walken is running for president in 2008!

i'm still not totally sure that it's for real, but if it is, i just found my candidate. he definitely passes my presidential aptitude quiz:

1) does he support stem cell research? Yes.
2) is he pro-troops yet anti-Iraq "war"? Yes.
3) is he in favor of sweeping education reform? Yes.
4) could he do a better job than our current president? My dog could.
5) is he a world-class bad ass? Absolutely.
6) is he in favor of more cowbells in american music? Who isn't?

click here to check out the COWBELL skit ... which ought to convince red and blue states alike to support him.

click here to check out his campaign website.

New Website

i've added a link to my "links" section. cali has her own web page now ... you should check it out.

SF Giants & Mannequin Boobs

it's a winning combination.

and, not to jinx anything, but they're looking pretty good so far tonight against andy pettitte. i heard the guys on knbr today saying that the giants have generally played to the level of the teams they've faced this year. i don't know about that statement, but they're making an argument tonight that it's true ... doing their best against one of the hottest pitchers in baseball.

anyway, what else is going on? i made it up to the airfield today and flew my plane for the first time in about a month -- have been to busy with work to get out there lately. i was up there with tom whitemore, who's just starting to get comfortable flying solo. should have expected it though: we both crashed. i lost a wheel off my landing gear on a bouncy touch-and-go, then ran out of gas while turning around for my approach. dumped it in the tall grass and stripped off the remaining gear. oh well, it's fixable.

it was really hot today so there was a blanket of warm air on the landing strip that was causing extra lift as you came in for a landing. after a few passes and aborted landings due to the updraft, tom wisely decided to come in lower, and on a longer approach. he got caught in the same way i have before: his depth perception fooled him and he was further away from the strip than he thought. his plane clipped a tree and went down. no major damage, just a cracked motor mount.

anyway, i know about zero of you are interested in these plane stories, but that's about all i've got except for work news, and i know that's not going to keep anyone riveted.

Drama in Childbirth Class

as my loyal readers are aware, kim and i have been attending childbirth classes on monday nights in santa rosa.

you don't expect traumatic things to happen at the classes -- maybe one of the mothers going into labor toward the end or something -- but for the most part the classes are very relaxing and drama-free.

this evening, though, just as we finished watching a labor and birth from the video collection, the chair of the guy sitting next to me tilted back and he fell flat on his back, his head making a really troubling smacking sound on the floor. i guess i thought that he had just been leaning his chair back and lost his balance, but it might be that he passed out from the blood in the video.

in any case, i rushed over to the ground next to him, along with a couple others, and saw that he was out cold. he was only out for a few seconds, then his eyes opened and he started having some kind of seizure. the spasming was only for a few seconds, and then he started mumbling that he was OK and started to get up. we kept him down, and just tried to get him to relax.

one of the guys in the class is a paramedic, and he was great. keeping the fallen dad-to-be calm and on his back. he asked a bunch of questions about how he felt and about his medical history. meanwhile, the teacher ran and called 911, and the ambulance showed up in about three minutes, followed by a fire truck.

the paramedics took his temperature a few times, and it was showing up as 106.9. damn. we were starting to feel a little faint ourselves. i guess the temperature is the product of all the blood rushing to the head or something, but that was pretty scary.

so they immobilized him and took him away on the stretcher, and on we went to the deep breathing and relaxation exercises. crazy. i hope he's OK. with luck the worst part of it for him will be just a little embarassment. head injuries, concussions, short-circuit-like seizures are scary. i hope to never see it again ... and now i'll be extra sure to keep my own knees bent when it's time for Hannah's birth.

Mom's 60th B-Day Extravaganza

my job for the day was to stay out of the way. thus i was appointed to be the errand bitch. i hauled stuff back and forth between healdsburg and p-town, took lucy to the self-serve dog groomer's, and as you can see here, went and got the balloons filled.

by the way, i can't figure out how to upload multiple pictures to the same post, so the party photos will all be separate.

cali, get used to it.

what a bunch of hotties.

i think mom was pretty happy with the party. it ought to have been something special ... and i think because of the great turnout, and how much help everyone gave ... it was.